"in other words,"
he said
with a winter hat
on
"i want you"
streetlights flickered off as dawn broke
"to stay"
i liked the way our gloves felt against one another
"awhile."

his camera told my story
one shudder at a time
blazed
crazed
raised roof the heavens
and peer up into the reclining olympians

trickle knuckle
downward the place where tendon stretches bone
ask me to fly to oregon
for labor day

in my gray tea
div, i ide my time
on swollen

whim
and wanton why
wish to take my words
and wind will up
worry it another wednesday

my heart is broken
and im unsure
it's my fault
this time

good morning tuesday.
it's been a week or more since i've said your name
but i depend on you
for happening
and maybe i even
take you for granted
for that i am sorry

never wanted to break your heart
or make you feel disconnected
come back and see me again
i'll make it up to you
with licorice
and every pimento i have

the wood is cherry
smooth
and soft
i can break it
if i wanted
but i dont
my face i press
against the cool of it
letting puddles gather
warping tiny seams

blah.

i remember being about 15. for christmas, my grandparents bought me a dressing table. of cherry wood. and you know me. . . . i never use a mirror. i never apply things to myself. what could it offer? but i loved that fucking thing more then anything. they wanted me to feel a woman. to feel grown up. to feel beautiful.

and i tried so hard for them.

wondering.

when i was going to try so hard, for me.

you've drunken all my drink
my hot chocolate
with its fake mallows
hot and soothing
to your throat
not mine
and i hope you loved
every bit
and i hope you felt
warm

while i sat.
here.
imagining it me.

The night is at a standstill.

oh ani. you are in a wednesday frame o my mind. i blame the loss of my heart. the loss of clarity. the still chaos that hurts my chest.
my breast, swollen, and my stomach aches ~
want to be in love, in lust, in . . . .
it's all so ridiculous. it's all so...
fuck it.


i'm going to turn
and walk away
you wait till i am far along
then run and come
and catch my arm
and say you'd die
if i were gone
yes i'm going to turn
and walk away
you can watch me go
or you can make me stay

we turn one another on
with in you
end and though
we still heart
and heave
at the touch
and be

we must find
thank fullness
and drive