state of love and trust
as I busted down the pretext
sin still plays and preaches
but to have an empty court, uh huh
and the signs are passin, grip the wheel
can't read it
sacrifice receiving the smell that's on my hands...hands yeah
and I listen for the voice inside my head
nothin', I'll do this one myself

lay her down as priest does
should the lord be acountin'
will be in my honour, make it pain
painfully quick, uh huh
promises are whispered
in the age of darkness
want to be enlightened
like I want to be told the end...end, yeah
and the barrel shakes
aimed directly at my head
oh, help me, help me from myself
and I listen yeah, from both
sides of the bed
nothin', I'll do this one myself
oh oh oh myself....Myself

yeah, yeah

hey, na-na-na-na, hey that's something
hey, na-na-na-na, hey that's something
hey, na-na-na-na, hey that's something
wanna back, back it away , yeah

and I listen, yeah,
for the voice inside my head
nothin', I'll do this one myself
oh, ah, and the barrel waits,
trigger shakes
aimed right at my head
won't you help me
help me from myself

eh oh eh o ehh
eh oh eh o ehh

state of love

o pearl jam.

i am trialed
within this
tribulation
spiraled
in the
evaluation
of my abnormal cellular
make up
break down
shake up
take down

postponed
my willingness to cope
inevitable reaction
to gush
smoke
ponder hypocrisy
and say 'maybe i'll see you soon'
knowing i wont
happy
i wont

drive back
east

i am not my father.

no strand of his
mingling with any strand of my own.

his beating heart never pulsed an ounce of sacred soulness into my skins electroneutronicause

i call my conscious in
say
hey
listen
we needta talk
you know
about those things you been doing
behind my back
when i am sleepin

and my conscious
just laughs

... i told you
i was trouble
you know
that im no good ...

o a.w.

im leaving
on a moments notice
wont know it
til i
go

a hint
might be
the way i say your name
mixed with another word
not significant
kept within the context
of a
tangerine
or a
maybe

wine tongue
dance on
wine lip
chance i've
found something
else

to turn me in

in me
turn to
my soul
say
something i'll remember
so that when i walk
away
i'll think
hey
remember that thing
it was deep
it broke my heart
kind of
licked my soul
in its own way

i should
turn around

portland didnt leave you well enough
alone
coming home
marks like miles
on your arm
captive to your own
unwilling head
calling me from a payphone
just outside of st. louis
begging me
to beg you
to come back

71.

contact
flowers
brass
and
stain

full moon
21
winter start
and
snow fall

boxing
kwanzaa
happy birthday daddy
and
rest in peace daddy

hanukkah
christmas
new year
and
magnolia